Fake ‘Mad Men’ Character Gets Real Book

Roger SterlingMichael Yarish/AMC John Slattery as Roger Sterling: ad man, author, bon vivant.

Just so it is clear in everyone’s minds: the 1960s were real. John Slattery is real. Roger Sterling, the character he plays on “Mad Men,” is not real, and the subplot from the past season of that AMC period drama in which he seeks to publish a memoir of his business advice was fiction. Having said all that, the book in question is real.

Wait, what? Dr. Edna, help us out with this?

The Grove Press imprint of Grove/Atlantic Inc. said it would release “Sterling’s Gold: The Wit & Wisdom of an Ad Man,” a memoir the publisher attributes to the “advertising pioneer and visionary Roger Sterling Jr.”

In a deeply facetious news release Grove Press said a box containing the book “has been found in the basement of the home he once shared with his wife, Jane.” The release continues, “Though it has been out of print for many years, Sterling’s groundbreaking book gave readers a unique look at the burgeoning advertising world of the 1960s when it was first published in 1965, and was noted for its unconventional approach to the memoir.”

Among the bons mots contained in the book, according to the publisher:

  • Being with a client is like being in a marriage. Sometimes you get into it for the wrong reasons and eventually they hit you in the face.
  • You want to be on some people’s minds. Some people’s you don’t.
  • Don’t you love the chase? Sometimes it doesn’t work out. Those are the stakes. But when it does work out — it’s like having that first cigarette. Your head gets all dizzy, your heart pounds, your knees go weak. Remember that? Old business is just old business.
  • When a man gets to a point in his life when his name’s on the building, he can get an unnatural sense of entitlement.
  • Remember, when God closes a door, he opens a dress.

While we once again reiterate that Roger Sterling is not a real person, Grove Press said the book was well reviewed in its day, winning praise from The Saturday Evening Post (“Sterling’s musings are morsels of his vast wisdom that act not only as business lessons, but as a life guidebook”); Lawrence Hubbard of the agency Needham, Harper and Steers (“Sterling’s Gold is an essential primer in advertising for all newcomers. Pour yourself a scotch, light a cigarette, kick back, and in just one hour learn more about the crazy world of Madison Avenue than you will in any internship”) and Shepherd Mead of Benton & Bowles (“In a world filled with glib, fast-talking ‘experts’ more proficient at entertaining lunch guests than creating successful campaigns, Roger Sterling is unique”).

The real version of “Sterling’s Gold” – whoever wrote it – will be released on Nov. 16.